It Depends On What Ya Mean By ‘Contrition’


Being as it’s SUNDAY n all, Pilgrim — Mulligan Jesus wants to PREACH!

Can I get a hearty ‘Well, I am in the middle of something else, but if you insist…’?

Bitch — Mulligan Jesus insists.

Mulligan Jesus BELIEVES in owning up to things.  That is, he believes YOU, Pilgrim, need to own up to things.

Otherwise, what would Mulligan Jesus be forgivin’ ya for?  The point is, Pilgrim, you HAVE things that need forgiving.  And that’s why we were made for each other.

You need forgiveness and I need a healthier bank account.

Sounds like a ‘Match Made In Heaven’ (Thank you, ladies and germs, I’ll be here all week — avoid the veal, no, seriously, avoid it, it’s horrible’).

So, how Mulligan Jesus likes to ‘preach it’ is this:

Say you do something you shouldn’t do.  You shamelessly rip off your employees, paying them poorly while reaping lots of profits (a ton of it completely OFF the books).  You know — something petty.  Now the ‘Other’ Jesus would want you to come clean — ‘fess up, I think is how the ‘kids’ say it now — and, you know, ADMIT YOU DID this (debateably terrible) thing.

Contrition = ‘I did it’.

With Mulligan Jesus however, it DEPENDS.  Did ‘what‘ is really the question, isn’t it?  And, after we lop off the top 30% of bitching and moaning (cause that’s always the ‘Over-The-Top’ crowd who think Deities and their followers should be ‘moral’ — like screwing over your employees while making buckets of money is somehow ‘immoral’) — what’re you left with?  Squabbles about pennies!

As my Jewish ‘friend’ (yeah, I have an accountant, what of it?) would say — ‘Leit zei geyn’.

That’s ‘Whatevs!’ to the ‘goyim’.  Hell, my Jew Accountant might even toss in, “It’s bupkis, bubbalah!”  And he’d be right.  We’re talking about nothing.

And do YOU, Pilgrim, really need to feel sorry for nothing?

Can Mulligan Jesus get a hearty ‘Hell NO!’

I knew he could.


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