After hours, when we Deities are chilling in the Locker Room O’ The Gods (which, thanks to a recent re-do is much nicer with much more reliable hot water — thank the gods for that — I mean LITERALLY cos the finance committee finally PAID THE DAMNED PLUMBING BILL like we kept telling them to!), one of the things about HUMANS that we laugh about most is how you think you ‘see everything’.
What’s that song one of you wrote — “I can see clearly now the rain is gone?”
Trust me, pal. You don’t see anything — cause we didn’t DESIGN YOU to see much. We put you schmucks together with SPARE PARTS if you really want to know. Want to REALLY make a Deity laugh? Drop two words: ‘Intelligent Design’.
Yeah — for real — that makes us HOWL. The word ‘slapdash’ comes to mind but doesn’t do Justice to how much of a drunken cockup the whole process was. You WISH it was as ‘pretty’ as sausage-making.
Do you have any idea how many terrible ideas have walked this planet — and then been sent back to the drawing board cos ‘What were we thinking?’ There’s a bin at the back of the ‘Workshop O’ The Gods’ where all the leftovers and bits of who-knows-what-this-is-or-where-it-came-from goes. THAT’S the source of Human Parts.
Your eyes don’t see ALL LIGHT, they see light within a very limited SPECTRUM. Look it up — I’m not inventing this! There are whole spectra of light you DON’T see — that are FILLED with information you’ve NEVER seen or experienced because you’re not capable of receiving it.
Related Headline? There are stars that exist that you haven’t seen yet — because they’re SO far away that the light hasn’t had the time yet to get from there to you. That doesn’t mean the star doesn’t exist. It just means that YOU CAN’T SEE IT, Dopey. And then, tomorrow, when the starlight hits you, you’ll be all “Hey, look — a star — shining eternally!”
Pilgrim, it was always shining that way. YOU’RE just the last ones to know is all.
The same goes for sound. Know what I just told your dog to do — using a sound spectrum humans like you can’t hear? Yeah — THAT’S why she just pooped on the rug — after spraying piss everywhere like a fire hydrant.
Sentient brains are like a Satellite TV Receiver. They receive what we send out to them and nothing but. At least that’s how it’s SUPPOSED to be…
Fortunately for Humans, a few of you FIGURED THAT OUT. They figured out that there WAS more to see than our design of you allowed. And then — because they’re SO smart — they figured out ways to SEE what their eyes couldn’t see and what their ears couldn’t hear.
They figured out how to gather hithero unavailable information. From a Deity’s point of view? It does not get more unsettling.
Hey — that’s MY territory…
But — a ‘Saving Grace’ (insert wry chuckle) — only a few of you ever DO figure it out and even then — only a few of you ever listen to ‘them’. So — no reason for a Deity to get his hair mussed.
Besides — Mulligan Jesus has big plans today. There’s the matter of that GIANT BUS headed right for Earth. You know — the one we designed you NOT to see?
Mulligan Jesus: The Do Over Deity 