Hola, Pilgrim! Back in the day, all you’d need to feed a flock was a single loaf of bread and a whole lot of magic. Oh, did we not bring enough magic? Sorry, folks, some of you will be going hungry tonight. That is unless you have cash in your pocket. If that’s the case, you can head on over to McOoga-Booga’s where the faithful get their fill!
Here in Heaven Corporate HQ, we know how important it is keeping our Christian Soldiers fed if we want them marching onwards! While sinners may think you can feed a Crusader anything, that’s just the serpent talking! You simply can’t spread the good news without providing a good spread – amiright or amiright?
At McOoga-Booga’s, they know what a finicky crowd a trinity can be! The father eats one thing, the son and holy ghosts both eat something entirely different! And don’t think relying on manna from heaven solves anything. Sure, sure – manna’s edible and comes from heaven (I won’t tell you how that sausage gets made, you’ll be sick to your stomach forever!) – but that doesn’t mean you want it anywhere near your mouth. At McOoga-Booga’s, the only golden calves you’ll ever have to worry about come char-broiled!
Mulligan Jesus’ favorite restaurant delivers like Moses bringing down the Ten Commandments From Mount Sinai — only tastier — and with sides and a beverage!
Now, since it’s your first time here, Mulligan Jesus is gonna walk you through the process. I know – having free will can be a burden. It’s much easier for some god-on-high to hand you your happy meal all good-to-go. Having choices is good, Pilgrim! But, having combo’s? That’s better!
I hope you brought your appetite. But not your judgment. Here at McOoga-Booga’s, judgment happens on ONE SIDE of the service counter only. And you, Pilgrim, ain’t standing on THAT side.
Be careful though, Pilgrim — the portions at McOOGA-BOOGA’s are HUGE. Well, of course they are — BULLSHIT is the greatest human natural resource there is! It’s cheaper and more plentiful then anything else on Earth.
And so tasty too!
Eat up and move on. There’s another butt waiting to fill your seat.