The 10 Commandments — New And Improved — Hey, You’re Welcome!

The hardest part of being a deity — if this deity can be honest for a hot sec — is “keeping it fresh”. Yeah — for real. The biggest challenge to “lording it over” humans is boredom. Ours mostly — because, as creations go, humans are just slightly more interesting than betta fish. But, occasionally, when humans get bored. they become like adolescent boys. That bad. Heaven forbid they sit down with a book (even a “good one”). No, instead, when most humans get bored they start coveting neighbors and asses they shouldn’t (especially when it’s their neighbor’s “ass”). They worship dumb things (and even dumber people) they shouldn’t. They start wars. From a deity’s point of view, that just means “break out your ref shirt & whistle”. One side’s gonna say “God wants this!” while the other says “What? No! God wants THAT!” Trust me, Pilgrim, whichever deity’s running the field with you that day? They’re thinking a pox on all your damned houses. We’ve got better things to do than pretend we care which one of you buries the other.

Bored humans are a hassle. Frankly, you’re expensive, too. Keeping you in line efficiently is the goal. Used to be a godhead (which, by the way, is the punchline to a great joke) could drop a couple of commandments on humans and, for a little while anyway, you humans would go along to get along — if only so we deities wouldn’t Ten Plague you into submission or Sodom & Gomorrah you into a pillar of salt. Maybe it’s Donald Trump. Maybe it’s everyone who still stands with him. This deity will give you all your props, whoever you are — you forced humanity to step up its game and damn if humanity didn’t.

Those old school Ten Commandments were due for a redesign anyway.

As we deities like to say, “If you’re in for a penny, you’re in for a complete tear down”. So — go on, Pilgrim — TAKE this offering. BE a Moses to your people. Be a “Schmo-ses”. What the hell do I care. Just behave your damned selves!

How much more rope do ya want, fer Pete’s sake?


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