Jerry, We Hardly Knew Ye…

On the one hand, here’s to gettin’ some!

But, on the other hand… Why not hold up a sign? “We did it!”

Excuse me, Pilgrim, while I have a quiet word off to the side with my pal Jerry-Junior.

Geez, Jerry-Junior, you really made a hash of it this time. Do you not know how social media works? You do understand that when you get drunk and pose with a young woman in a way that blatantly suggests you just knew her the way Adam knew Eve — but with a whole lot more screaming and shouting — and you post the evidence of your screwing around out where the whole world can see it… well, hey — at least you got some.

Sure hope it was worth losing your job over, Jerry-Junior. I bet the board at Liberty University fairly seethed when they asked you to step aside as president and chancellor. I bet you didn’t meet anyone’s eyes when you said “Yes, of course I will.”

Just so we’re clear here, Pilgrim — deities don’t cry. Not big deities anyway. I don’t.

But losing Jerry Falwell, Jr is simply never going to sit right. Not that Jerry-Junior could ever sit right after his “pool boy experience”. But, you know what I mean.

This deity will always have a place in his heart for Jerry Falwell, Jr. I hope he understands if I won’t let him visit it personally.

Even deities can catch Cooties.


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