If Bullshit Could Afford A Great Stylist, It Would Look Like Joel O’Steen

Peacocks must hate televangelist Joel O’Steen. They can spread out their feathers and caw loudly. Joel can go on TV. He’s lovely to look at — hard not to notice (he keeps cawing so loudly). But no more meaningful in his peacockery than a bird showing off, trying to get laid.

Joel loves him some “Prosperity Gospel”. He believes Jesus’s message isn’t “Do Unto Others”, it’s “Grab Everything Ya Can With BOTH Hands!” The “Prosperity Gospel” is how scam artists convince mooks to make them prosperous. And Joel is very, VERY prosperous. His net worth? $40 million (which is peanuts compared to Benny Hinn’s $60 million net worth, Pat Robertson’s $ million net worth and — ya ready for this one? — Kenneth Copeland’s $300 MILLION net worth). I’m wearing out my copy of the NT searching for where JESUS says “the richer you are, the more I love ya!”

He doesn’t say it of course. Jesus doesn’t say anything of the sort.

Know what Joel’s mansion in Texas is worth? Try $12 million. That’s to go along with his $300 million megachurch.

And then there was Joel’s reluctance to open his mega-church’s doors to when Hurricane Harvey hit Houston in August 2017.

There’s nothing wrong with selling lots of books and getting ridiculously rich. If you have a product that people want — good on ya! But Joel — in theory — isn’t selling a “product”, he’s supposed to be a spiritual “leader” (not that anyone actually needs to be “led” spiritually). Nothing in one’s spirituality should be connected to one’s wallet or bank account. Unless you don’t actually have a “spirit” — you just have the bank account.

Doing unto others and suffering the little children aren’t meant to make anyone rich. The only people capable of imagining Jesus stretched out on a chaise lounge at a Four Seasons are people for whom Jesus is a mascot, not a teacher.

Ministries like Joel O’Steen’s are cesspits of greed. As Joel himself could tell ya, it costs a damned fortune to build & maintain a beautiful church like his. People getting all airy-fairy about their “spirituality” doesn’t pay the bills. People reaching for their wallets does.

That’s what drives coifed con men like Joel O’Steen. To his credit, he worked hard to get rich in Jesus’s name. He learned (as all televangelists do) — the trick isn’t getting rich off Jesus, it’s STAYING rich off Jesus.

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