Know what genius is? Genius is getting people to buy a made-up story — and treat it like it really happened.
Why, it’d be like J K Rowling creating Harry Potter — only to have some uninformed reader forget to be entertained by the amazing world Rowling created because THEY believe all the events described in the book really and truly happened. They didn’t. Of course they didn’t!
And the reason you KNOW they didn’t is cos you KNOW who the writer is. Yeah, yeah, yeah — Divine Inspiration or whatever — Ms Rowling STILL pulled every last bit of that world from her own brain. Pretty much the exact same way the guys who sat down and scribbled out the OT texts did.
Guess what — NONE OF EM were around when the world was created. I know. I was there. I woulda killed for some company (even those guys). Stasis is not a good look for me — it’s all taupe and grey. I’m more ‘colorful’.
Whatever!
Trust me – The Garden of Eden was a metaphor. It was a ‘state of mind’ not a REAL PLACE. And A Tree of Life never existed, nor a ‘woman’ named Eve, a ‘man’ named Adam or a Talking Snake. There was no piece of fruit and none of the rest of it happened either. Chrissakes, people, can’t ya just appreciate a terrific little story for what it was? A terrific story (with a few Life Lessons thrown in to make it more ‘nutritious’)?
‘Sigh’
Oh well… can’t say I didn’t try…
Yeah, okay — it happened. All of it. The ‘Let There Be Light’, the 7 Days, the whole ‘Wacky Creation Smorgasbord’ (please, please, PLEASE don’t ask about duck-billed platypuses — no idea what we were thinking there — I’m guessing it was some bad mead).
So — here we are again. Adam & Eve. A STORY so good — you can’t UNbelieve it.
Genius.
Mulligan Jesus 