I bet, when he was a YOUNG sanctimonious asshole, Mike Pence was the kid that picked LAST for every sports team — cos who wants THAT asshole on their bench or anywhere near them.
You just KNOW Mike proselytized them relentlessly.
Why, if you try, you can almost hear him now —
“Hey, guys, wait up! C’mon — I swear I won’t talk about Jesus any more! Guys, PLEASE!”
But, while Mike may have been a LOSER on the playing field, he’ll always be a SUPER STAR, an ALL STAR and a GOD-LING to Mulligan Jesus.
Why, the man could turn stark-raving atheist and he’d STILL be a Super Star to Mulligan Jesus just for delivering THIS bit of utter insanity —
Whatever else happens to ya, Mike, Mulligan Jesus will ALWAYS have your back.
Um… I wouldn’t exactly take that to the bank — if ya know what I mean…
Mulligan Jesus: The Do Over Deity 